It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
