i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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