Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he was CRYING into my vagina
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
