this beer tastes like vomit already
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
