I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
