so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Terrible idea I love it
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
