so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I have fence marks all over my body
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
All the doctor said was why
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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