If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
