Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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