Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
