Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
