I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
