Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
