Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
