He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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