So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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