I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
40s are totally the cure
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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