Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
