i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
