She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
