But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
