ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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