Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
