I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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