ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My cat gives me a boner
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
