butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
