I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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