Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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