That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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