I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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