u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
