I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
