Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
