doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Randomize
