Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
My cat gives me a boner
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
