They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she pinky promised me she was 18
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
