You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
