I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
