she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Text me some of your sweat
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
