nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There are leaves in my underwear?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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