I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
