She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
try to milk me bitch
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
