Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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