dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
