If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
