No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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