But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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