Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
