she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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