evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize