We won't sleep together?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
