grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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