Joe is yelling at the trees again.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
