My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
