Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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